Sunday, January 19, 2014

great article! must read! how i made sure all 12 of my kids could pay for college themselves

source:  http://qz.com/165716/how-i-made-sure-all-12-of-my-kids-could-pay-for-college-themselves/

ni aku c&p semula..

We raised our family in Utah, Florida, and California; my wife and I now live in Colorado. In March, we will have been married 40 years. I attribute the love between us as a part of our success with the children. They see a stable home life with a commitment that does not have compromises.

Here’s what we did right (we got plenty wrong, too, but that’s another list):


  • Kids had to perform chores from age 3. A 3-year-old does not clean toilets very well but by the time he is 4, it’s a reasonably good job.
  • They got allowances based on how they did the chores for the week.
  • We had the children wash their own clothes by the time they turned 8. We assigned them a wash day.
  • When they started reading, they had to make dinner by reading a recipe. They also had to learn to double a recipe.
  • The boys and girls had to learn to sew.

Study time

  • We had study time from 6 to 8pm every week day. No television, computer, games, or other activities until the two hours were up. If they had no homework, then they read books. For those too young to be in school, we had someone read books to them. After the two hours, they could do whatever they wanted as long as they were in by curfew.
  • All the kids were required to take every Advanced Placement class there was. We did not let entrance scores be an impediment. We went to the school and demanded our kids be let in. Then we, as parents, spent the time to ensure they had the understanding to pass the class. After the first child, the school learned that we kept our promise that the kids could handle the AP classes.
  • If children would come home and say that a teacher hated them or was not fair, our response was that you need to find a way to get along. You need find a way to learn the material because in real life, you may have a boss that does not like you. We would not enable children to “blame” the teacher for not learning, but place the responsibility for learning the material back on the child. Of course, we were alongside them for two hours of study a day, for them to ask for help anytime.

Picky eaters not allowed

  • We all ate dinner and breakfast together. Breakfast was at 5:15am and then the children had to do chores before school. Dinner was at 5:30pm.
  • More broadly, food was interesting. We wanted a balanced diet, but hated it when we were young and parents made us eat all our food. Sometimes we were full and just did not want to eat anymore. Our rule was to give the kids the food they hated most first (usually vegetables) and then they got the next type of food. They did not have to eat it and could leave the table. If later they complained they were hungry, we would get out that food they did not want to eat, warm it up in the microwave, and provide it to them. Again, they did not have to eat it. But they got no other food until the next meal unless they ate it.
  • We did not have snacks between meals. We always had the four food groups (meat, dairy, grain, fruits and vegetables) and nearly always had dessert of some kind. To this day, our kids are not afraid to try different foods, and have no allergies to foods. They try all kinds of new foods and eat only until they are full. Not one of our kids is even a little bit heavy. They are thin, athletic, and very healthy. With 12 kids, you would think that at least one would have some food allergies or food special needs. (I am not a doctor.)


  • All kids had to play some kind of sport. They got to choose, but choosing none was not an option. We started them in grade school. We did not care if it was swimming, football, baseball, fencing, tennis, etc. and did not care if they chose to change sports. But they had to play something.
  • All kids had to be in some kind of club: Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, history, drama, etc.
  • They were required to provide community service. We would volunteer within our community and at church. For Eagle Scout projects, we would have the entire family help. Once we collected old clothes and took them to Mexico and passed them out. The kids saw what life was like for many families and how their collections made them so happy and made a difference.


  • When the kids turned 16, we bought each a car. The first one learned what that meant. As the tow truck pulled a once “new” car into the driveway, my oldest proclaimed: “Dad, it is a wreck!” I said, “Yes, but a 1965 Mustang fastback wreck. Here are the repair manuals. Tools are in the garage. I will pay for every part, but will not pay for LABOR.” Eleven months later, the car had a rebuilt engine, rebuilt transmission, newly upholstered interior, a new suspension system, and a new coat of paint. My daughter (yes, it was my daughter) had one of the hottest cars at high school. And her pride that she built it was beyond imaginable. (As a side note, none of my kids ever got a ticket for speeding, even though no car had less than 450 horsepower.)
  • We as parents allowed kids to make mistakes. Five years before the 16th birthday and their “new” car gift, they had to help out with our family cars. Once I asked my son, Samuel, to change the oil and asked if he needed help or instruction. “No, Dad, I can do it.” An hour later, he came in and said, “Dad, does it take 18 quarts of oil to change the oil?”  I asked where did he put 18 quarts of oil when normally only five were needed. His response: “That big screw on top at the front of the engine.”  I said “You mean the radiator?” Well, he did not get into trouble for filling the radiator with oil. He had to drain it, we bought a radiator flush, put in new radiator fluid, and then he had to change the real oil. We did not ground him or give him any punishment for doing it “wrong.” We let the lesson be the teaching tool. Our children are not afraid to try something new.  They were trained that if they do something wrong they will not get punished. It often cost us more money, but we were raising kids, not saving money.
  • The kids each got their own computer, but had to build it. I bought the processor, memory, power supply, case, keyboard, hard drive, motherboard, and mouse. They had to put it together and load the software on. This started when they were 12.
  • We let the children make their own choices, but limited. For example, do you want to go to bed now or clean your room? Rarely, did we give directives that were one way, unless it dealt with living the agreed-upon family rules. This let the child feel that she had some control over life.

In it together

  • We required the children to help each other. When a fifth grader is required to read 30 minutes a day, and a first grader is required to be read to 30 minutes a day, have one sit next to the other and read. Those in high school calculus tutored those in algebra or grade-school math.
  • We assigned an older child to a younger child to teach them and help them accomplish their weekly chores.
  • We let the children be a part of making the family rules. For example, the kids wanted the rule that no toys were allowed in the family room. The toys had to stay either in the bedroom or playroom. In addition to their chores, they had to all clean their bedroom every day (or just keep it clean in the first place). These were rules that the children wanted. We gave them a chance each month to amend or create new rules. Mom and Dad had veto power of course.
  • We tried to be always consistent. If they had to study two hours every night, we did not make an exception to it. Curfew was 10pm during school nights and midnight on non-school nights. There were no exceptions to the rules.

Vacation policy

  • We would take family vacations every summer for two or three weeks. We could afford a hotel, or cruise, but did not choose those options. We went camping and backpacking. If it rained, then we would figure out how to backpack in the rain and survive. We would set up a base camp at a site with five or six tents, and I would take all kids age 6 or older on a three- to five-day backpack trip. My wife would stay with the little ones. Remember, for 15 years, she was either pregnant or just had a baby. My kids and I hiked across the Grand Canyon, to the top of Mount Whitney, across the Continental Divide, across Yosemite.
  • We would send kids via airplane to relatives in Europe or across the US for two or three weeks at a time. We started this when they were in kindergarten. It would take special treatment for the airlines to take a 5-year-old alone on the plane and required people on the other end to have special documentation. We only sent the kids if they wanted to go. However, with the younger ones seeing the older ones travel, they wanted to go. The kids learned from an early age that we, as parents, were always there for them, but would let them grow their own wings and fly.

Money and materialism

  • Even though we have sufficient money, we have not helped the children buy homes, pay for education, pay for weddings (yes, we do not pay for weddings either). We have provided extensive information on how to do it or how to buy rental units and use equity to grow wealth. We do not “give” things to our children but we give them information and teach them “how” to do things. We have helped them with contacts in corporations, but they have to do the interviews and “earn” the jobs.
  • We give birthday and Christmas presents to the kids. We would play Santa Claus but as they got older, and would ask about it, we would not lie.  We would say it is a game we play and it is fun. We did and do have lists for items that each child would like for presents. Then everyone can see what they want. With the internet, it is easy to send such lists around to the children and grandchildren. Still, homemade gifts are often the favorite of all.

The real world

  • We loved the children regardless of what they did. But would not prevent consequences of any of their actions. We let them suffer consequences and would not try to mitigate the consequences because we saw them suffering. We would cry and be sad, but would not do anything to reduce the consequences of their actions.
We were and are not our kids’ best friends.  We were their parents.

Friday, January 17, 2014

my home deco 2013 :)

dah lama tak citer pasal dekorasi rumah...
asyik citer pasal resepi je kan..
so arini nak share sikit pasal deko rumah ku tahun 2013..
dah masuk 2014 dah pon..
baru nak citer kan:P

aku bukan la terror or pandai sangat menghias rumah.
tapi aku sangat suke kemas rumah, suke rumah nampak cantik, suke rumah bersih, suke bersihkan rumah, suka rumah tersusun. aku memang jenis macam tu. walaupon penat, mmg aku akan kemas rumah setiap hari walaupon anak2 akan sepahkan rumah tapi lepas tu tangan aku gatal kemas dan bersihkan semula walaupon satu hari 4-5 kali kemas sebab aku mmg tak suke nampak rumah sepah or aku akan pening kepala ,sakit kepala or naik angin tengok rumah sepah.hahaha.panjang aku explain:P

tahun 2012..deko rumah aku ..aku penah share kat blog..klik sini..
so thn 2013..ade la sikit penambahbaikan walaupon tak banyak..tapi nak share juga utk kenangan ku...

  hallway rumah aku kecik je..adelah sekangkang kera:P haha...

nampak tak kesenkangkangan kera itu?:P haha
aku letak rak kasut jenis tinggi...dan tempat sangkut beg dan baju/tudung..

memang nak buat hallway...sebab selalu suami pakai jaket kerja..kalau balik mesti letak kat  mana2 jaket die tu,,..so ade hallway kat situ..leh la sangkut baju kat situ je..

ade letak cermin gak kat situ..boleh cermin diri sebelum keluar rumah:P

ruang tamu

ruangtamu ruamh aku takde perubahan sangat dari tahun 2012..cuma tambah frame kufi ..langsir sume tak tukar pun...rumah pon cat asal pemaju je...aku mmg nak kekalkan putih sebab nak nampak efek luas..yelar..rumah aku kecik je...18x60 je...

ruang makan

ruang makan pon takde perubahan sangat.cuma tambah frame kat bahagian dinding....aku lupe nak snap bahagian ruang makan tp ni ade gambar bahagian ruang tamu aku yang bersambung dgn dining hall ..

aku beli frame holder kat ikea...pastu letak frame2 kat situ...simpe aje..


tak banyak perubahan seperti tahun 2012..klik  sini... .cuma ada tambah rak ikea kat bahagian masak..pan nak beli bekas2 botol kaca utk spices sama sume seragam..tapi tak beli2 lagi,...so guna apa yg ade shj dulu:P


 bilik zaheen
bilik zaheen ade perubahan besar sikit berbanding tahun 2012. hehe..walaupon zaheen tak tidur kat bilik die..tapi kitorg slalu gak lepak kat bilik zaheen..biasanya aktiviti painting buat dlm bilik zaheen  ;) bilik zaheen memang aku hias colorful gitu;P


bilik bawah/bilik tetamu 

keluasan bilik kecil je..so guna katil bujang je utk jimat ruang :)

bilik tetamu atas/bilik komputer
bilik ni dah selamat kne conteng guna marker oleh zaheen. -_- good job anak.gud job:P

nmpak x kesan conteng ituu?:P

master bedroom
master bedroom pon xbesar sangat.so kene pandai bijak susun supaya nampak luas sikit:P dah la aku guna katil size king..banyak gak amik ruang.

aku punye wardrobe kecik je.kongsi laki bini lagi baju kami.hehe.pastu tepi wardrobe tu aku tambah tempat peyangkut baju .beli kat ikea. die boleh adjust panjang die. so aku gantung sebahagian baju kurung n baju melayu suami kat situ.

hakikat rumah bila dah ada anak

hakikat 1: ade ruangan buai kat area bawah tangga.kalau ikutkan aku mmg tak nak guna buai n taknak letak buai langsung kat umah..tapi berjaya sampai ziyad umur 9 bulan je kot.pastu aku mengalah pasang buai gak kt rumah sbb ziyad dah terbiasa tdo kat buai kt rumah pengasuh. n bahagian bawah tangga mmg aku buat area permainan anak. ade play yard dan sebahagian toys kat situ. play yard yg wane putih tu aku guna utk emergency if aku nak ke toilet ke ape ke...kena letak ziyad dlm tu jap. kalau tak....merayap die pegi.

hakikat 2: bila anak dah pandai menyonteng ke dinding rumah,haha. ni antara lukisan terbesar zaheen pernah lukis kat dinding rumah. haha. aku nampak macam bentuk POU, tapi bila tanya zaheen, die kata die lukis angry bird:P haha

oklah,itu shj sharing home deco utk hari ni :) ade cadangan penambahbaikan boleh komen;) hehe.

resepi chilled oreo cheesecake. (resepi 2)

hari nak share resepi oreo cheesecake yang sedap dan senang:))

 credit recipe : inahar
 tq for the recipe.tapi aku ade edit sikit recipe nya..

Untuk base :

  • 200gm biskut oreo (original flav.) - buang/ketepikan creamnya dan hancurkan
  • 70gm  butter - dicairkan

Untuk Filing

  • 250gm cream cheese - dilembutkan pada suhu bilik
  • 200gm whipping cream - thickened cream pun boleh guna
  • 1/3 cawan gula kastor jika guna dairy whipping cream(thickened cream) or guna 1/2 cawan jika guna non dairy whipping cream
  • 1.5 sudukecil esen vanilla
  • 1 sudu besar gelatine dilarutkan secara 'double-boil' dgn 30ml air - larutkan didalam microwave je
  • 40ml jus lemon  atau  3 sudu besar sour cream atau satu bekas yogurt 140ml -tak ada pon takpe
  • 5 - 10 keping biskut oreo (tak perlu buang krimnya) dipatah-patahkan 

Cara membuatnya

1. campurkan mentega cair ke dalam biskut oreo yang dihancurkan - gaul mesra kemudian ditekan-tekan padat ke dalam loyang 7 inci  yang telah dilapik dengan aluminium foil. simpan di dalam peti sejuk seketika.

2. di dalam bekas sederhana besar, putar whipping cream pada hadlaju yang perlahan ( jangan terlebih putar speed laju) sehingga 'stiff-peak' sedikit. kemudian simpam di dalam peti sejuk.

3. di dalam bekas yg besar, putar cream cheese bersama gula kastor sehingga mesra dan lembut, masukkan jus lemon/sour cream, gelatine cair dan serbuk vanilla...putar lagi hingga sebati.

4. campurkan whipping cream tadi ke dalam adunan cream cheese dan masukkan biskut oreo yang dipatah-patahkan tadi. tuangkan adunan ke dalam loyang yang disediakan.

5. sejukkan/freezerkan adunan cheese cake tadi di dalam peti sejuk selama lebih kurang 4 jam, atau hingga benar2 sejuk dan keras. kemudian boleh dihidangkan.

p/s: kalau guna aluminum foil macam aku tu...boleh dapat dalam 3 bekas..

p/s lagi: nak order ngn aku pon boleh;)))))) whatsapp me 0137812223:) 

p/s lagi lagi: like mrsnawuzabakery on facebook ya! ade giveaway sedang berlangsung:))

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

resepi nutty batik cake yang sedap dan senang!

petang ni nak share resepi kek batik versi baru...letak kacang! super sedappppp! seriously:) im lovin it. suami pon suka sanagat:) makan sampai tak hengat doniaa:P

here's the recipe:

1 cawan milo
1 cawan butter
2/3 cawan susu pekat manis
1/3 cawan madu
2 sudu besar serbuk koko
1 paket biskut marie perisa coklat
100g kacang tanah yg dah ditumbuk 

cara buat:

masukkan butter dlm periuk.cairkan butter.api kecik je ok.pastu masukkan milo , serbuk koko n susu pekat dan madu.kacau sebati. gaul sebati . tutp api.pastu masukkan biskut marie yg dah dipatahkan empat. gaul kejap.pastu campurkan kacang. gaul sebati.masukkan dlm loyang.sejukkan dlm peti sejuk lebih kurang 2 jam. sedap dimakan sejuk2:))))))))))) alamak,terliur lak masa tengah taip resepi ni.haha. selamat mencuba:)

p/s : korang.....jgn lupa like mrsnawuzabakery kat facebook tau! tau tau tau!:)

resepi lempeng sedap dan senang!~ sedap dimakan dengan sardin atau sambal tumis:)

salam maulidur rasul:) 
pagi ni nak share resepi lempeng simple yang sesuai utk breakfast korang. hehe
 sedap tu makan ngn sardin or sambal tumis.
zaheen pon suke:))))

2cawan tepung gandum
2cawan air
5 sudu kecil minyak masak
1 sudu teh garam

Cara2 memasak
  • satukan semua bahan dalam blender dan putar sehingga betul2 sebati
  • sediakn kuali dan letak minyak dengan cara sapu dengan kitchen tissue kat non stick pan yang dah panas
  • ambil dua senduk adunan dan tebarkn atas non stick pan
  • pusing2kn dan bila dah ade kekuningan bole lah diangkat..
  • siap untuk dimakan..
Selamat mencuba..

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

wordless wednesday #39: aktiviti cuti sekolah zaheen bersama ibu di rumah :)) painting n baking :))